SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Ive been posting on here on and off with my situation, So - it turns out I was right all along and more - STBXH has been leading a total double life and its worse than I ever could of imagined. I have been dragged through the mud completely. Alsorts has come out. Hes been leading a double life since around jan.

Full on physical affair for months, stringing ow along with lies (she is as heartbroken as I am and contacted me - this is how it has all come out ) and she has been portrayed by him to me as someone she isnt - hes fed her and work colleagues so so many lies. Told everyone we had split up and that he was with ow in a relationship.

Told them we were divorcing months ago, ow became more involved with him around jan/Feb.

i updated In here about his behaviour etc . Work colleagues thought we had split up and they were an item at work and on the socials (which now makes sense with other stuff I posted here ) he had even bought her rings and alsorts. He is a complete monster. Used two women, manipulated us both,fed us both utter lies and got kicks out of it. Sleeping with me as a husband then going to hers later on.

Ive had all the proof I need and more. Hundreds of screenshots off ow and even work colleagues the utter bullshit hes been hiding. Playing the victim saying his marriage was over. He is not right in the head at all.

I am just so so proud of myself that he moved out before all this blew up. Im also grateful for the ow for reaching out to me (I know this dosent always happen) and making me aware of everything thats going on. I feel violated, humiliated and more. Ive read so, so many things, i cannot believe who this man is 💔💔 a complete narcissist.

The level of betrayal is off the scale what hes done.

Im being stone with him and told him I dont even want to look at him and my family members will be here when he gets the rest of his stuff (which i feel like burning tbh ) I am not showing him i am hurting or angry. The satisfaction for me is he has been exposed for all to see. Everyone is as shocked as I am. He was planning to get with ow full time, asked her if he could move in with her in may (she said no) she became suspicious of him and which is why she reached out to me. Shes been strung along like i have. Told her he loves her etc and she fell for his charm and lies. When I was updating in my other thread about socials etc, everything makes sense now as she thought they were a couple. I was right all along.

I am a strong woman but this has completely destroyed me, its complete carnage. I just feel violated, a fool. all those times ive suspected and been gaslighted, played, how anyone can do this to people is beyond me. I also feel bad for the ow now as he made her out to be a homewrecker when she isnt, you can see with my previous posts how he was behaving. she genuinely thought we had split up, he has totally played us against each other, getting kicks. Just need to get through the next few weeks and he will be out of my life.

Does anyone have any uk advice with legal aid and when there has been emotional and sometimes physical abuse like this? As hes been aggressive towards me too 😞😞due to hiding everything

Any advice much appreciated xxx

[This message edited by Kittycatkitty at 7:12 AM, Sunday, July 5th]

not in the UK, but wanted to offer my support. Please call a few lawyers (solicitors?) on Monday - in the US they sometimes offer a one time free consultation. And ask friends- you must know people who are divorced. I remember calling a friend whose husband got demolished by his first wife’s divorce lawyer—. I asked her who that was I wanted the shark who would ensure that I got everything I am entitled to and knew how to keep him above board). I also emailed a local radio program where the host had discussed her lawyer and divorce and asked her who she used. 🤷‍♀️. This is now a business decision, so think of it like and put in your due diligence.

DO NOT feel dumb. SOOOOO many of us went through what you did. It’s just hard to believe our spouses were such good liars and such bad people. I think you are doing great, and when you put on your bitch boots and kicked him out, I cheered. This is hurtful, painful stuff but you are doing well through it. Just keep going.

(Also glad the OW reached out to you- rare, but glad to see she helped provide that final nail in the marital coffin, so to speak).

Hang in there, KCK. >^..^< You are a badass kittycat!

It is devastating to discover that the one person you believed you could implicitly trust, the one person who would always have your back, the one person who would never do anything to crush your soul, is capable of looking you in the eyes, saying I love you, and having an affair.

Suddenly you are looking at this person and wondering "Who did I really marry? Did I ever really know the real him/her?"

You are wise and strong to hold your ground and continue with the divorce proceedings. The other woman did the right thing reaching out to you. Many BS's are clueless about what their wife/husband is doing behind their backs. I waited five months to tell the wife of my wife's AP what her husband was doing with my wife and I regret waiting so long.

Stay strong!